Christmas comes but once a year.

Hey, mama, how 'bout you.

'Cause, if you need some Yuletide cheer,

I'll tell you what to do.

If you could use a way to show

Exactly how you felt.

Just take a sprig of mistletoe

And hang it on your belt.


Yes, what could be a better way

To sweep you off your feet.

A little head for Christmas

Makes the Holiday complete.

So, don't you base your Christmas list

On vanity or greed.

A sucker for a pretty girl

Is what you REALLY need.


Some guys like erector sets,

Or canvas tents with pegs.

But, I prefer that Santa

Fill my stocking up with legs.

So, take that rare Filet Mignon

And feed it to some beast.

Then, hop up on the table, love,

And call me to the feast.


It's wholesome, It's nutritious,

It is helpful to my diet.

My God, you look delicious.

Honey, won't you let me try it.

It will not get you pregnant,

Make you sore, or give you AIDS.

It hasn't got Cholesterol.

They say it helps your grades.


It never was Chateaubriand

That caused my mouth to water.

And if I had a magic wand

I'd make your Mama's daughter.

There ain't no cause to panic.

Things are bound to work out well.

I like to dine organic.

You look natural as Hell.


Face, Face, Face. Yes, that's the word.

There ain't no way to beat it.

I just don't like to stuff the bird

Until I get to eat it.

Priority Blues

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