Wake up, pretty mamas,

'Cause Murphy has returned.

Get out of those pajamas

And come see what I have learned.

Just hide this here salami.

I've got lots of cash to spend.

I'm the Magic Urban Swami.

I'm the working girl's best friend.

Murphy, Murphy, Murphy.

Your girl's a quart too low.

So, find a John

And run your con

Or she might pack up and go.

Now, listen to me, honey.

It's a shame to waste a trick.

So, don't give no more money

To that stupid little prick.

On the mean streets I've been working

They would eat that fool alive.

All night long his jaw keeps jerking.

Ain't no way he could survive.

Murphy, Murphy, Murphy.

How does your garden grow.

"The bitch don't make

A half bad rake,

But she's useless as a ho."

So, fuck them bells and cockle shells,

Miss Muffett and her Kurds.

I might fuck you

Before I'm through.

I'm freakish for you nerds.

 Fuck them gangsta rappers.

Fuck the hippies and the flappers.

Fuck your llama,

And your mama,

And your crew.

Fuck the hungry and the poor.

Fuck your mama, who's a whore.

The finale

In the alley

Will be you.